Singleness and the present moment

Yesterday I went to an excellent conference for single women, called "The Art of Being a Woman." It was a beautiful day, and I feel like I took away a lot of inspiration and motivation from the talks, witnesses, and prayer time. I am sure in the next few weeks I will be unpacking some of the topics that were discussed.

While the talks were geared towards women whose ultimate 'goal' was marriage, I appreciated the fact that the speakers also spoke of the importance of the vocation of the present moment. This was very heartening as well as thought-provoking.

One of the primary struggles of the single life, I think, is feeling like you are in a state where you are waiting for your 'permanant vocation' to finally come along. While it is good to be thinking in terms of a long term vision for your future, I think that viewing singleness as simply a "waiting" period is not entirely helpful. Furthermore, singleness is also described as a time of preparation. In particular, it is often portrayed as a time when hopeful wives-to-be can brush up on their cooking skills, pay off their debt, or work on personal growth areas that will enrich their future marriage. Obviously this is a legitimate and worthwhile perspective, particularly for those that are pretty convinced that their vocation is marriage. And obviously, it is worthy and good to embark on these goals for their own sake as well.

However, I think that the restlessness and discontent that comes with being single can often be exacerbated when one's current state in life is only viewed as a period of waiting, or a only viewed period of preparation for some more grand purpose. It robs us of the dignity of what we are doing in this very moment. What needs to be recognized and affirmed for singles is the value of the present moment. Certainly for everyone, married, single, religious, our experiences throughout life serve to prepare us for forthcoming events in God's providential plan. It's really neat and beautiful the way that works, and in this way, no matter what we are doing we can see it as a preparation for the future, or as part of waiting for life to unfold before us. But I think that we also can't overlook the fact that each gift God gifts us, each challenge He calls us to, and each opportunity for service as singles that He gives us has an inherent goodness and purpose in and of itself.

I'm pretty sure that if we live our lives as singles solely storing up treasures for the future, delicately trying to measure out our activities to fit the mold of what we envision our future to be, we will be setting ourselves up for greater impatience, and a greater tendency to neglect the tasks at hand.

It's encouraging and inspiring to me to remember that God has called me to this current state of singleness right now for His greater purpose. Right now, in this moment, He is giving me opportunities to love and to be loved; to serve and be served. There is something about my singleness right now that He is using to for the glory of His kingdom right now.

A life surrendered to God in the little details, letting His Spirit penetrate your heart and move in mysterious ways is not a life in limbo; a life looking for ways to serve others and to love the souls in your midst is not simply a holding pattern; a life in which you pick up the heavy crosses along your paths with courage and strength is not merely a waiting game. This, my friends, is living life to the full, living the vocation of the moment. We should not be ashamed that this is "all" we are doing. This is all we have to do.