New directions

View from the Nashville Airport

Well, it's official. I have accepted the academic librarian position in Nashville! I am thrilled, excited, nervous and overwhelmed all at the same time.

It was crazy how quickly everything happened, and how quickly the opportunity was presented to me. In some respect, it was definitely a difficult decision, because it entails picking up and leaving the life I have become accustomed to, leaving family and friends here in D.C. that I hold dear, and moving further away from my immediate family in Pittsburgh. But after returning from the interview, the more I took the decision to prayer, the more I was convicted that this opportunity was a gift that the Lord was presenting me with; all I had to do was say, "Yes Lord."

In the days to leading up to my trip to Nashville, and in my time there, all of these thoughts of "How is this going to work out?" "What if this happens?" "What if that happens" or "What if there is not much of a Catholic community here?" "What if it means that I will have no chance of meeting a spouse here?...Maybe moving from D.C. is just my resignation of leaving the 'happening-scene' and being a spinster forever." "What if there is nothing fun to do?" "What if I am really lonely?"

In the midst of my "what-ifs" and "how is this going to work out?" I felt as if God was saying, "I am not asking you to say "Yes" to all of these "what-ifs", or even anything beyond this job -- anything beyond this step right in front of you. I am just asking you to say yes to this one thing. All else will fall into place. "

I was thinking a lot about Our Lady's Fiat; her utter uncertainty in that moment, and the way that she just had to say yes to that one thing that God was asking of her. She had to trust that God would take care of all else as His will unfolded.

It is terrifying and overwhelming to think about moving to a brand-new city where I barely know anyone. It's 9 hours from my home and family, and 11 hours from DC, where I have such dear friends and a wonderful Catholic community.

But in talking with good friends and family, it's been made clear to me that this is not only a job opportunity that God has blessed me with. It is a job opportunity that in so many ways is exactly the sort of job that I have been looking for. It includes working with a seemingly wonderful group of people, having exactly the professional responsibilities and daily tasks that I have aspired to have, and having a lot of room for professional growth. Furthermore, there has definitely been a growing desire over the past year for me to live in a place that is slower paced, and a place where people put down roots, rather than flit in and out as is customary in D.C. I want to live in a place where I can be a part of a strong local community, and find my place there, wherever that might be.

I feel that God is presenting me with a beautiful gift, and I am filled with awe and gratitude at His unexpected and captivating movement in my life.

I am certain that this job will be filled with it's own challenges, frustrations, and hardships; but I am also certain that this is what He has for me now. He is calling me onward to this next step, and I have to take a faith-filled leap into the unknown. As Brian Volck says on the Image blog, "Vocation, like community, challenges and holds one accountable even as it offers gifts and opens doors."

In the few weeks leading up to my interview, I had discovered a new favorite song, "I will follow You," by Chris Tomlin. Little did I know that the lyrics of this song would soon become the song of my heart, sung excitedly, anxiously, graciously, and determinedly.

I Will Follow
Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow.

Here's to a big step down a new road in my life. I will follow You.