A Contemplative in the City...for 25 more days and counting

So, if I end up moving when I am planning to, I will be leaving Washington D.C. in just 25 days. Wow. Some friends and relatives who used to live in D.C. have told me that I need to make sure that I take advantage of all that the city offers...because when you live here often times you start to take for granted all of the cultural opportunities that surround you.

I think that I have at least tried to take advantage of many cultural activities here in our nation's capital, but as I realize how quickly I will be leaving town, I begin to think of the myriad of things that I have wanted to do while living here, but never have gotten around to doing. Funny how drastically your perspective changes when you are preparing to life a place or a certain stage in life. There are dozens of museums, restaurants, and parks that I still haven't made it to. While I would love to think that I could at least hit up a few of these attractions, the fact of the matter is that my time will be quite limited as I prepare to move. Perhaps though, I can fit in an excursion or two as I take a break from packing or planning.

In any case, I anticipate that my blog will take on both a nostalgic tone as I reflect even deeper on my experiences here in D.C., as well an eager anticipatory tone as I look toward my ensuing adventure.

And what will become of my blog after I move? Somehow, "Contemplative in the City" won't fit quite so well. "Contemplative in Music City"? maybe so...but perhaps it will take on a much different flair all together. Stay tuned.

New directions

View from the Nashville Airport

Well, it's official. I have accepted the academic librarian position in Nashville! I am thrilled, excited, nervous and overwhelmed all at the same time.

It was crazy how quickly everything happened, and how quickly the opportunity was presented to me. In some respect, it was definitely a difficult decision, because it entails picking up and leaving the life I have become accustomed to, leaving family and friends here in D.C. that I hold dear, and moving further away from my immediate family in Pittsburgh. But after returning from the interview, the more I took the decision to prayer, the more I was convicted that this opportunity was a gift that the Lord was presenting me with; all I had to do was say, "Yes Lord."

In the days to leading up to my trip to Nashville, and in my time there, all of these thoughts of "How is this going to work out?" "What if this happens?" "What if that happens" or "What if there is not much of a Catholic community here?" "What if it means that I will have no chance of meeting a spouse here?...Maybe moving from D.C. is just my resignation of leaving the 'happening-scene' and being a spinster forever." "What if there is nothing fun to do?" "What if I am really lonely?"

In the midst of my "what-ifs" and "how is this going to work out?" I felt as if God was saying, "I am not asking you to say "Yes" to all of these "what-ifs", or even anything beyond this job -- anything beyond this step right in front of you. I am just asking you to say yes to this one thing. All else will fall into place. "

I was thinking a lot about Our Lady's Fiat; her utter uncertainty in that moment, and the way that she just had to say yes to that one thing that God was asking of her. She had to trust that God would take care of all else as His will unfolded.

It is terrifying and overwhelming to think about moving to a brand-new city where I barely know anyone. It's 9 hours from my home and family, and 11 hours from DC, where I have such dear friends and a wonderful Catholic community.

But in talking with good friends and family, it's been made clear to me that this is not only a job opportunity that God has blessed me with. It is a job opportunity that in so many ways is exactly the sort of job that I have been looking for. It includes working with a seemingly wonderful group of people, having exactly the professional responsibilities and daily tasks that I have aspired to have, and having a lot of room for professional growth. Furthermore, there has definitely been a growing desire over the past year for me to live in a place that is slower paced, and a place where people put down roots, rather than flit in and out as is customary in D.C. I want to live in a place where I can be a part of a strong local community, and find my place there, wherever that might be.

I feel that God is presenting me with a beautiful gift, and I am filled with awe and gratitude at His unexpected and captivating movement in my life.

I am certain that this job will be filled with it's own challenges, frustrations, and hardships; but I am also certain that this is what He has for me now. He is calling me onward to this next step, and I have to take a faith-filled leap into the unknown. As Brian Volck says on the Image blog, "Vocation, like community, challenges and holds one accountable even as it offers gifts and opens doors."

In the few weeks leading up to my interview, I had discovered a new favorite song, "I will follow You," by Chris Tomlin. Little did I know that the lyrics of this song would soon become the song of my heart, sung excitedly, anxiously, graciously, and determinedly.

I Will Follow
Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow.

Here's to a big step down a new road in my life. I will follow You.

Young, transient, and....organized?

It's Monday again. I have mixed feelings about Mondays. Unlike the rest of the world, Monday is not the day I start my work week (I work Tuesdays - Saturdays), but it is my day off. As Sunday is my first day off which I seek to spend in relaxation, leisure, and good company, Monday is my day when I want to get stuff done. Frequently when my friends ask me what I am going to do on Monday I say "organize my life." It's pretty much my main goal every Monday - run errands, pay bills, and most of all, try and organize the paperwork, mail, clothes, and random boxes in my room. Sometimes I make a dent in the project, many times, I get frustrated. Last Monday was especially frustrating because I realized that by the time I did my household chores, did my laundry, and dealt with other paperwork, I wouldn't have as my time to organize the piles in my room as I hoped.

I suppose it's much easier to accomplish the goal of organization when you are a choleric personality and strive to have everything in exact order. For those of us who are more free-spirited in our home organization, it's much more difficult to bring order to our space without getting suddenly distracted by a great magazine article on our desk that we have been wanting to read, or remembering a package that needs to be mailed at the post office.

But digging deeper, I know that my frustration with home organization is not just an aggravation with stray papers, but a reluctance to develop a more permanent state of organization in my room in the midst of my transient existence. In the past 8 years, (counting college years), I have moved 8 times. Because of my tendency to take my time to decide how to organize each room, and very thoughtfully and deliberately unpack my things, by the time I get my room fully unpacked, it's about time for me to pack up again. And inevitably, this means adding more odds and ends to my odds and ends box(es) that just seem to get more full with each move.

I truly admire my friends who have also moved frequently, and are able to establish a well-organized room within a few days. Knowing that even my current location is somewhat temporary, I am still reluctant to unpack every single box, in anticipation that before long, I will probably be moving again. But every time I face the challenge of organizing, I also face the desire putting down roots, and having more stability. As a young adult still discerning my permanent vocation and God's will for my life, geographical stability is not something that I have. So it is my challenge and prayer not only to organize my space to be well-ordered for the present moment, but to find my roots and stability in His heart. For us transient, nomadic singles, at this time in our lives, our lack of stability and roots is a unique cross. I have heard the quote before, "My home is in His heart." May this be our comfort and our prayer in our packing, unpacking, moving forward, and staying in place.