My favorite Washington D.C. city church -- St. Patrick's in Chinatown

Flickr/by taygete05

One of my favorite places in downtown D.C. has been St. Patrick's Cathedral, near the Penn Quarter/Chinatown area of the city. I love the architecture of the church, and the simple, peaceful interior, with it's soft white walls and saint icons above the altar. I always felt such a sense of serenity inside of this church -- the serenity of God's presence in the midst of the hustling, bustling city.

Fortunately, St. Patrick's Church was sort of on the way to work for me, so when I mustered up enough energy to make the early morning trek via bus and metro, I could attend Mass there before work. It was such a special morning ritual on the days I went to Mass there. I loved arriving at the church while it was still the blue dawn outside...much of the city still seemed to be asleep. Inside the walls of St. Patrick's I felt a unique ability to meditate on the scriptures in light of my upcoming work day. It was rejuvenating and encouraging to see the other downtown D.C. professionals that were regular Mass goers at St. Patrick's as well -- all coming to the fountain of grace to be spiritually fed before they embarked on their daily responsibilities.

After Mass ended, I loved opening the heavy wooden doors that immediately plop you out into the busy city blocks. Now, just 35 minutes later, the sun would be shining, the sidewalks crowded with people heading to work. I had received the Risen Lord, and now it was my unique task to talk Him into the world, in subtle and genuine ways, even just through a simple smile. I had faith that after receiving Him in the Eucharist, He would give me the opportunity to spread His light among; all of us who received the Eucharist during the work day, whether in the early morning, at noon-time, or during the after work commute, were walking tabernacles of His presence. What an honor and a gift.

Like many city churches, St. Patrick's is sandwiched between office buildings and whizzing traffic. Perhaps that's what I have loved most about St. Patricks. The way it is both an oasis of God's peace where one can take time away from the world; but at the same time, it is a witness to God's presence through which believers gain strength to bring God's love into the world.

Exactly where you are supposed to be

I wish I would have read this a long time ago...it describes everything that I sought to encompass in my Contemplative in the City life. An affirmation of the dignity and purpose of your unique work, exactly where you are:


"He [the worker] can comfort himself by the certainty that, if there is no sin in it, the work he must do is the work of God wants him to do, if not for ever, at least for today. If he is in this particular workroom or office it is because here it is that Christ wishes to be today. If he is among these particular people it is because to these particular people that Christ wants to give his love today. If he has this particular work to do, it is because Christ wants that particular work done in his way. Because these facts are true, it is a more glorious and a more apostolic thing for that boy to do that job, in the name and the power of Christ, than (imagining this to be possible) to convert the whole of Asia in his own name and power. To do the ordinary work of the world with Christ's integrity is to be about the Father's business." ~ Caryll Houselander


Happy workday, friends. Work in the confidence that you are doing His work, exactly where you are.

The end of an era

flickr/by Sapphireblue

The Willard Hotel, on Pennsylvania and 14th Street.

I often walk down this block on my commute to work, and this is one of my

favorite architectural structures in Washington, D.C.

 It was with a bittersweet heart yesterday that I marked the last day working in downtown Washington, D.C. For as many challenges I have had in my job, and I many things that frustrated me about working amidst the hustle and bustle of the city, it really was a special, grace-filled 13 months for me.

Plopping my contemplative heart in the middle of a loud, chaotic, secular work-a-day world was quite a stretch for me. Not to mention working in our Nation's capital with it's unique busyness and goings-on. But the ways in which God spoke to me, penetrating the concrete buildings, busy city sidewalks, roaring traffic and the seemingly endless hours of data-entry was such an experience of spiritual growth for me.

"Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon him while he is near." - Isaiah 55:6

Having spent the last six years in Catholic colleges I was used to being able to seek the Lord in distinctly sacred settings, namely Churches and chapels and religious talks. Yet this past year I discovered the unique and exciting challenge of seeking the Lord in the secular day-to-day sphere. And you know what I learned? The more secular the place, the more powerful the manifestation of His presence becomes. When you seek God inside a church, you have a greater expectation of His response. But when you seek Him in what seem like unlikely places, His presence is all the more amazing. You begin to not just experience God's presence simply confined to a church, or in your 10 minutes of prayer time, but walking with you step-by-step, each street you cross, each smile you encounter, each tender word you hear, enveloping you with His spirit.

What a gift it has been to seek a contemplative spirit in the city. I pray for others who continue to be His hands and feet in the most urban, unlikely places - that He would transform them and guide them. And I pray that as I segway into this next chapter of my life (I head to Nashville next Friday), God will reveal to me the new ways in which I shall seek His face.

Singleness and the present moment

Yesterday I went to an excellent conference for single women, called "The Art of Being a Woman." It was a beautiful day, and I feel like I took away a lot of inspiration and motivation from the talks, witnesses, and prayer time. I am sure in the next few weeks I will be unpacking some of the topics that were discussed.

While the talks were geared towards women whose ultimate 'goal' was marriage, I appreciated the fact that the speakers also spoke of the importance of the vocation of the present moment. This was very heartening as well as thought-provoking.

One of the primary struggles of the single life, I think, is feeling like you are in a state where you are waiting for your 'permanant vocation' to finally come along. While it is good to be thinking in terms of a long term vision for your future, I think that viewing singleness as simply a "waiting" period is not entirely helpful. Furthermore, singleness is also described as a time of preparation. In particular, it is often portrayed as a time when hopeful wives-to-be can brush up on their cooking skills, pay off their debt, or work on personal growth areas that will enrich their future marriage. Obviously this is a legitimate and worthwhile perspective, particularly for those that are pretty convinced that their vocation is marriage. And obviously, it is worthy and good to embark on these goals for their own sake as well.

However, I think that the restlessness and discontent that comes with being single can often be exacerbated when one's current state in life is only viewed as a period of waiting, or a only viewed period of preparation for some more grand purpose. It robs us of the dignity of what we are doing in this very moment. What needs to be recognized and affirmed for singles is the value of the present moment. Certainly for everyone, married, single, religious, our experiences throughout life serve to prepare us for forthcoming events in God's providential plan. It's really neat and beautiful the way that works, and in this way, no matter what we are doing we can see it as a preparation for the future, or as part of waiting for life to unfold before us. But I think that we also can't overlook the fact that each gift God gifts us, each challenge He calls us to, and each opportunity for service as singles that He gives us has an inherent goodness and purpose in and of itself.

I'm pretty sure that if we live our lives as singles solely storing up treasures for the future, delicately trying to measure out our activities to fit the mold of what we envision our future to be, we will be setting ourselves up for greater impatience, and a greater tendency to neglect the tasks at hand.

It's encouraging and inspiring to me to remember that God has called me to this current state of singleness right now for His greater purpose. Right now, in this moment, He is giving me opportunities to love and to be loved; to serve and be served. There is something about my singleness right now that He is using to for the glory of His kingdom right now.

A life surrendered to God in the little details, letting His Spirit penetrate your heart and move in mysterious ways is not a life in limbo; a life looking for ways to serve others and to love the souls in your midst is not simply a holding pattern; a life in which you pick up the heavy crosses along your paths with courage and strength is not merely a waiting game. This, my friends, is living life to the full, living the vocation of the moment. We should not be ashamed that this is "all" we are doing. This is all we have to do.

New directions

View from the Nashville Airport

Well, it's official. I have accepted the academic librarian position in Nashville! I am thrilled, excited, nervous and overwhelmed all at the same time.

It was crazy how quickly everything happened, and how quickly the opportunity was presented to me. In some respect, it was definitely a difficult decision, because it entails picking up and leaving the life I have become accustomed to, leaving family and friends here in D.C. that I hold dear, and moving further away from my immediate family in Pittsburgh. But after returning from the interview, the more I took the decision to prayer, the more I was convicted that this opportunity was a gift that the Lord was presenting me with; all I had to do was say, "Yes Lord."

In the days to leading up to my trip to Nashville, and in my time there, all of these thoughts of "How is this going to work out?" "What if this happens?" "What if that happens" or "What if there is not much of a Catholic community here?" "What if it means that I will have no chance of meeting a spouse here?...Maybe moving from D.C. is just my resignation of leaving the 'happening-scene' and being a spinster forever." "What if there is nothing fun to do?" "What if I am really lonely?"

In the midst of my "what-ifs" and "how is this going to work out?" I felt as if God was saying, "I am not asking you to say "Yes" to all of these "what-ifs", or even anything beyond this job -- anything beyond this step right in front of you. I am just asking you to say yes to this one thing. All else will fall into place. "

I was thinking a lot about Our Lady's Fiat; her utter uncertainty in that moment, and the way that she just had to say yes to that one thing that God was asking of her. She had to trust that God would take care of all else as His will unfolded.

It is terrifying and overwhelming to think about moving to a brand-new city where I barely know anyone. It's 9 hours from my home and family, and 11 hours from DC, where I have such dear friends and a wonderful Catholic community.

But in talking with good friends and family, it's been made clear to me that this is not only a job opportunity that God has blessed me with. It is a job opportunity that in so many ways is exactly the sort of job that I have been looking for. It includes working with a seemingly wonderful group of people, having exactly the professional responsibilities and daily tasks that I have aspired to have, and having a lot of room for professional growth. Furthermore, there has definitely been a growing desire over the past year for me to live in a place that is slower paced, and a place where people put down roots, rather than flit in and out as is customary in D.C. I want to live in a place where I can be a part of a strong local community, and find my place there, wherever that might be.

I feel that God is presenting me with a beautiful gift, and I am filled with awe and gratitude at His unexpected and captivating movement in my life.

I am certain that this job will be filled with it's own challenges, frustrations, and hardships; but I am also certain that this is what He has for me now. He is calling me onward to this next step, and I have to take a faith-filled leap into the unknown. As Brian Volck says on the Image blog, "Vocation, like community, challenges and holds one accountable even as it offers gifts and opens doors."

In the few weeks leading up to my interview, I had discovered a new favorite song, "I will follow You," by Chris Tomlin. Little did I know that the lyrics of this song would soon become the song of my heart, sung excitedly, anxiously, graciously, and determinedly.

I Will Follow
Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow.

Here's to a big step down a new road in my life. I will follow You.

Whirlwind of a week

Hello readers, my apologies for the lapse in posting over the past week. In an amazing sweep of events, God has brought a job opportunity into my life that was quite unexpected, and is quite exciting. In the span of just a little over one week, I applied for a job, had a phone interview, was provided with an all expense paid trip to Nashville to interview, and received a job offer. Pretty incredible.

There are many aspects of the job which I am so excited about. The work responsibilities are exactly the aspects of librarianship that I have been wanting to get involved with. The people are friendly, welcoming, and professional. The mission is something that I really feel I can put my heart into, and use my talents to serve the Lord and His Church. There is tremendous opportunity for growth and professional development within the position. It really is quite ideal.

Unfortunately, there are some aspects which make the decision a bit harder, such as whether it will be a financially feasible position for me to take. Also, there is the huge, daunting thought of moving to a brand new city where I know virtually no one. It's farther from my family, and would also mean leaving a wonderful community of Catholic friends here.

But I wonder if God is calling me to something entirely new, to a job and a city that hadn't even been on my radar before. His ways are certainly mysterious, and I want to be open to the ways that He wants to bless me and lead me.

If you think of it, please say a prayer for my discernment. This whole opportunity arose shortly after I finished my 30 day novena to St. Joseph. I am sure he will lead me through to the end of this decision that I might be enlightened to the will of the Father.

Resumes and Samaritan opportunities

flickr/by Caitlinator

Between finishing up graduate school and looking for my first professional position and my current situation of looking for a more interesting, better paying job, I feel like I have been writing resumes and cover letters for the past two years straight. And actually, that's pretty accurate. In the midst of the great job search, I often get discouraged and frustrated, thinking that much of my effort is just wasted time. Lately, I have had to consciously convince myself that I must use cover letter writing and my job application efforts as an offering to God, as an opportunity to grow in holiness. Because if I don't put this spin on it, it does look pretty discouraging to me.

I have a very sweet story relating to resume writing from the other day though. A lesson in the fact that you just never know how God is going to use your efforts.

On Monday, I decided to check out a coffee house in my area that I had never been to before. I pass it frequently, and have been curious what it's like, so I thought that if I was going to work on a job application, I might as well go somewhere interesting.

I did enjoy it - the place had a nice, homemade ambiance, with eclectic furniture, made-to-order sandwiches and wraps, and work-conducive mellow music. I was there for about an hour working on a particular application, and was glad to be able to finish the application and send it in on the spot. Because it was a weekday (Sundays and Mondays are my days off), there weren't many other folks there in the middle of the day, besides a young couple, and a thirty-something African American woman sitting on the couch a little ways behind me.

As I stood up to start packing up my computer, the woman behind me said, "Excuse me, Miss? Do you know much about computers? I am having trouble with this program." I answered that I did know a little about computers and I walked over so I could see what her question was.

As I began to try and adjust the settings for her in Microsoft Vista (which is so frustrating and confusing), she asked me, "Are you an artist?" I smiled and shook my head. "No, I'm not an artist." "Oh," she said. I could tell she was a little disappointed. "I am looking for a writer." I perked up a bit. "Oh," I said. "Well I do write." The smile came back to her face. "You do? I've been looking for a writer who could help me with this resume!" I told her I would be happy to look over her resume for her, and she was thrilled.

She proceeded to tell me her story. She and her husband were artists, and made African textile art for a living. Her husband was originally from Mexico, and she was from Mali, Africa. When the two of them fell in love, she taught him about Bogolan, a beautiful patterned textile art that originated in Mali. She has lived in the United States for 7 years. They want to begin renting a studio in the area to teach classes about this art, but they were required to submit a resume for review before they were accepted for the studio.

The woman was a native French speaker, and although she spoke very good English, the information on the resume was written in very broken English. She explained that she really wants to go to college so she can learn how to write in English better, and use the computer better.

As I went through and proofread the resume and suggested changes, the she told me, "I have never done a resume in English before. Someone told me that I should come to this cafe and maybe I would meet a writer who could help me. I am so glad I found you! I have been coming here for a week waiting to meet a writer. I was shy to ask you, but thank you, thank you!"

I was so touched in the moment but God's Providence and the way He brings people together. I was just thrilled to be able to help this woman, and use my two years of resume writing experience to help her. It made all my efforts seem so much more worth it, that I could bring so much joy to her.

When I was leaving she thanked me many times. I gave her my e-mail address and told her to keep me posted and let me know how it all turned out. "Oh, God will bless you!" she said, "God will save you!" "Do you see the smile you brought to my face?" She said.

I has made a new friend. God is good. And my heart was full.

You know you are a frequent bus rider (and probably don't own a car) when...

 flickr/by LancerE

 1. You know the layout of the city according to what but route travels that street.

2. You get confused when you are riding in a car and don't have to pull a string to make the vehicle stop.

3. You are excited when you get on the bus at the beginning of the route -- more likely to get a seat!

4. You have a favorite row and a favorite side of the bus.

5. You know whether you are early, late or on time according to the familiar or unfamiliar faces that you see on the bus.

6. You know that when a bus approaches your stop and it's not the one you want to catch, you shake your head and the bus knows to continue on.

7. You know that it's not cool to sit on the end seat with an empty window seat beside you when the bus is getting full.

8. You can stand in the aisle of the bus and "surf" without holding onto the posts...until the bus comes to a lurching stop.

9. You know exactly how to layer 3-4 bags under the seat or on your lap when coming home from the grocery store.

10. You are are not afraid to run full speed in a skirt and heels when you see your bus approaching and you need to beat it to the stop.

11. You have some of the inside ads memorized. Even the ones in Spanish.

12. You know that if the electronic number on the front of the bus isn't working there is a taped sheet of paper with the number on the windshield.

13. You know that you will meet some of the most colorful characters on the bus that you will ever meet in your life.

14. You notice little things about your fellow riders, from the book they are reading to the way they smile...and that their simple kindness can really touch you, even briefly.

15. You know that bus "schedules" are merely a suggestion.

From drudgery to prayer

A common theme of this blog, (and my life) particularly over the past year is meditating on how monotonous, rote-filled work days can reveal to me God's presence and His purpose for me. Perhaps others who have more exciting, challenging, and "rewarding" jobs have other themes that God is using to work in their lives. Maybe for you folks it's teaching you how to trust, giving you energy, giving you courage to carry out new initiatives, etc.

flickr/by mcclave

But the rest of us on the other end of the spectrum (and I suspect that there are many of you in a similar boat as myself), are continually trying to find meaning and purpose within our monotony. I often get very caught up in the "grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome, and find myself frequently thinking that if I was "in my vocation", be it as a wife and mother, a religious sister, or a consecrated Catholic single, I would be much more content, and life would be much more interesting. Yet as I was walking down the sidewalk during my lunch break today I was reminded that no matter what vocation you are in, many moments of your life are made up of this "drudgery". As a mother you will be doing laundry, grocery shopping and doing dishes, day in, and day out. As a religious, you are far from exempt from such daily duties as well - instead, they make up a major part of your life in between structured prayer times.

"Hmm," I thought to myself earlier today. "I guess I might as well get used to drudgery!"

It's one thing to hear the words of saints like St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Joseph Maria Escriva and their teachings on sanctifying one's daily work. It's another thing entirely to die to yourself and your desire for more naturally fulfilling, interesting work. It takes a deliberate act of the will to let this awareness of sanctifying grace seep into you and permeate your day. I would rather grumble through the day, frustrated to be so bored.

I am coming to a deeper awareness more and more that the key to transforming work from sheer drudgery to the opportunity to see the Lord reveal Himself in and through your work is daily prayer. When you start your day out with prayer (and better yet when you end it with prayer too), you can see all these little things in His light, and gain a glimpse of that Meaning behind it all. Without setting your work and your day before Him, it's easy for work to simply be laborious and nothing more. Yet I wonder, for those of us who are plagued with drudgery, if we do not experience a unique magnificence of His glory. For we have an opportunity to see His face in the least expected places, and He penetrates the ordinary corners of our little lives. We can't rely on the high of living a glamorous, entertaining job or adventure -- we are called take deep, deliberate looks throughout our day in order to uncover the pearl of great price.

In closing, I want to share a quote from Oswald Chambers from his book, "My Utmost for His Highest", in an essay on "Taking the Initiate Against Drudgery" :

"...if we will arise and shine, drudgery will be divinely transformed. Drudgery is one of the finest test to determine the genuineness of our character. Drudgery is work that is far removed from anything we think of as ideal work. It is utterly hard, menial, and dirty work. And when we experience it, our spirituality is genuinely tested and we will know or not whether we are spiritually genuine...

The inspiration of God is required if drudgery is to shine with the light of God upon it. In some cases the way a person does a task that makes work sanctified and holy forever. It may be a very common everyday task, but after we have seen it done, it becomes different. When the Lord does something through us, He always transforms it."

Mid-day reprieve

I had a very lovely lunch break today. Yes, my lunch (an antipasto salad from Potbellys) was delicious, but more importantly, the weather and my picnic spot was just glorious. It was a cool 70-something degree day, with an intermittent breeze. When the weather is nice I like to venture across the street from my work to this specific garden/park, which has a large rippling pond, lots of entertaining ducks, and a plethora of shady spots. I particularly love the weeping willow trees along the pond. They are so wispy and graceful, I love watching the long branches sway in the wind.

When I initially found a bench and sat down, I thought to myself, "I'll eat my lunch and then read some of my Magnificat." That would be very contemplative-in-the-city-esque of me, I thought. But alas, I realized that I had it left it on the desk in my office. Instead, after I finished my meal, I just spent a few minutes drinking in the beauty in front of me, enjoying the feeling of the crisp breeze that signals the coming of fall. I remembered how blessed I am to have this lovely spot where I can spend 20 minutes of my day and get refreshed and rejuvenated. I think it's really important for professionals to have their own oasis where they can get refreshed amidst their day. Although not everyone has the luxury of being able to walk to a green, picturesque park for their lunch break, something as simple as taking a walk outside the office can give one the opportunity to gather up our thoughts reflect on the day so far, and renew our purpose. That's what contemplation is really all about. Taking the time to step outside of the routine, in order to more clearly see the meaning, purpose and beauty in all that we do and are given.

Where do you find your reprieve in the midst of your day? Have you found a favorite spot that inspires and rejuvenates you?

Touching the hearts in our midst

"What powerful preaching there can be in simple contact with a soul! One single soul can change the whole moral atmosphere surrounding it by its solitary light."

~ Elisabeth Leseur

I recently finished reading the "Secret Diary of Elizabeth Leseur." This book is filled with the writings of Elisabeth, a devoted Catholic young woman living in upper-class Paris in the early 20th century. I had read several excerpts of Elisabeth's writings in the Magnificat magazine over the past several months, and these meditations really spoke to me. I think one of the main reasons was because Elisabeth was a lay woman, seeking to live the faith in profound ways in the midst of secular culture. Elisabeth was married to Felix Leseur, a french physician who, although raised Catholic, became an atheist and was extremely hostile towards the faith. Through her writings one can see the depths of faith that Elisabeth had, praying fervently for her husband's conversion, accepting suffering with patience and fortitude, (she suffered many severe ailments, and eventually succumbed to breast cancer in 1914) and striving to touch the souls around her with the love and light of Christ.

I was greatly inspired reading Elisabeth's diary. I particularly found her dedication to intellectual study and authentic culture and arts impressive. She understood the value of acquiring knowledge and wisdom in order that one might be able to more fully communicate truth, as well as the ability of the fine arts of the day to convey Beauty.

What most spoke to me though, was Elisabeth's total commitment to loving the souls placed in her path in her ordinary life. As a lay, married woman, Elisabeth was did not have the framework of a religious community, or even the benefit of a supportive husband in order to encourage her in this mission. She also remained childless, a cross which I imagine brought her great suffering insofar as she was unable to participate in the vocation of biological motherhood. And although she was involved in charitable work earlier in her life, when her illness set in, she had to resign herself to let the Lord use her suffering, rather than her action, to evangelize the culture. So the reader sees as they read her diary, the way that she come to accept her humble but vital purpose in life to reach out to those souls put in her path. In doing so, she offers an inspirational example to lay Catholics, particularly I think, lay professionals who wonder how it is that they can concretely serve God's people in the secular day-to-day.

Some of her thoughts which were particularly inspiring to me:

"Let us love. Let our souls and our lives be a perpetual song of love for God first of all and for all human beings who suffer, love, and mourn.

Let profound joy live in us. Let us be like the lark, enemy of the night, who always announces the dawn and awakens in each creature the love of light and life. Let us awaken souls."

~~~~

"Let us not linger in contemplation of the road ahead; let us follow the narrow path. Let us not look too far or too high, but right in front of ourselves, right next to ourselves. The good to be done is perhaps there."

~~~~

"Grace alone can bring about conversion; without it, we can do nothing for a soul. But can we not prepare the materials for grace? Can we not put into people's minds new ideas that, when touched by grace, may one day rise and live? It is humble work, demanding much patience and tact, and it must be performed without expecting any result but what is willed by God and known only to Him."

~~~~

"Those we encounter along our earthly path cast a distracted look in passing upon the outer wrappings of our being, and go their way, confident of knowing us sufficiently. Let us take care not to act in the same way toward the companions of our life. Even in a brief encounter, we can touch a soul, or, even more, achieve a profound insight into that which is hidden beneath appearances: a whole person, a whole life, of which others remain in perpetual ignorance."

ALA Conference...the summit for Librarians

Over the past three days I attended my first American Library Association (ALA) Conference. What a massive production this annual conference is! ALA's website says that the average conference attendance is 25,000 participants. Phew! Pretty incredible! Basically, if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the Washington Convention Center, you will see parades of tote-bearing librarians, many adorned with buttons like "I love to read" or "Freedom to read", and other eclectic book related paraphernalia. We are a unique bunch, it is true, and there is something particularly unique about being at a conference with tens of thousands of other professional colleagues. Two of my librarian friends and I were commenting about the interesting dynamics that arise when you have this many people of the same profession all together in one place. You begin to recognize a certain commonality of mannerisms, ways of thinking, personal passions, and similar goals. We were talking about how amongst librarians, who are often more of the introverted, reflective, melancholic types, walk around the convention center more quietly, with a sense of interiority as they try to find the correct meeting room, and once in the session display a common sense of curiosity and love for learning. As my one of my librarian friends said, "When I would go to speech pathology conferences I never really felt like I fit in. But when I go to librarian conferences I just think, "I belong here!" It's true, in many senses I also felt as though I fit in. It's encouraging and invigorating to be amidst a worldwide crowd of colleagues, coming together with fundamental common visions and passions, sharing ideas and gaining inspiration to take back to your own specific library.

I attended the conference on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I was not thrilled to have to attend a work function on a Sunday, but was able to get to Mass on Saturday evening. I felt as though on Sunday, the Lord's Day, I was more conscious of the spiritual aspect of my professional life and place in the library realm. As you may or may not know, librarianship, although pinned as a very conservative, bun-donning, long skirt and blouse wearing bunch, has become quite a "liberal" profession, and the American Library Association in particular aggressively pushes agendas which I cannot condone. Over the past three years as I have been trained in this profession and then entered the workforce, I have learned that working as a librarian while maintaining my moral convictions is a continually evolving call and challenge. So many of the issues within librarianship, from issues of intellectual freedom to parental control to censorship and beyond are issues that must be wrestled with each time they are presented within their own specific context. While their are fundamental perspectives that a Catholic librarian can hold, it's not as simple as creating a black and white formula for dealing with these issues. Essentially they must be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, in a thoughtful, nuanced way. The very fact that these issues cannot necessarily answered with a blanket philosophy can be daunting. And yet it is the challenge of so many Catholic young professionals today. We have not been called to shrink away from the secular world, but to be the leaven within society. And if we have been called, we will be given the grace.

Ultimately, I felt very invigorated by the opportunity to be a part of this large professional gathering as a librarian dedicated to the pursuit of Beauty, Goodness, and Truth. Our profession has such an incredible potential to provide others with the opportunity and inspiration to seek Truth through knowledge. What an honor it is to be an instrument in that pursuit of Truth in whatever small ways it may be. We are all called to "renew all things in Christ" (Eph.1:10) and I am excited to strive to make this incorporate this call into my life.

Small enough

On my way to work this morning as I was reading my morning prayer, I was thinking about how I was not looking forward to beginning the boring drudgery of my job. Same old, same old. Rather monotonous, not exciting. I am sure that I have alluded to this before, but as someone with a strong melancholic disposition, I am spurred on by feeling as if I am working towards some great ideal, changing the world and making a difference. Doing something honorable and noble. When I don't feel a sense of passionate purpose for my work it's very difficult for me to maintain an enthusiastic attitude towards my duty. I am a visionary who likes to connect my task and experience of the moment with a sweeping vision of grandeur - the grandeur of seeking the Good, the True, and the Beautiful. The problem is, as deeply as I seek to connect the mundane with the holy in my daily life, I am often frustrated when I am unable to see how the tiny acts of faithfulness add up to a bigger, noble project of obedience.

I think that all of us who seek to do the work of the Lord would choose, if possible, to do the more glamorous work, such as being a missionary in a foreign country, or writing books that will change hearts. It struck me this morning, that so much of doing God's will in our lives is dependent on us letting ourselves be small enough. Small enough to accept that God knows in advance the good works He has prepared for us to do. Even if these are the most seemingly secular, straightforward, material tasks. This is His will for us, His way to lead us closer to Himself, His mysterious way of our sanctification. It's that little letting go, that obedience to do small things, that has the potential to bring forth great grace. The grace of the moment, though, is just oh so hidden. Especially when I think about how I just want to take a nap at 2pm, or how meaningless the task at hand seems. Grace...huh? Holiness? I'm just bored! The grace of the moment is waiting for us, in our selfless assent to complete the duty of the moment with love.

This morning in an effort to rouse myself to be more productive and faithful in my workday, I read some quotes on the website escrivaworks.org. I found out later that tomorrow is Saint Josemaria Escriva's feast day, so reflecting on his words was all the more fitting. This quote was particularly inspirational to me:

"When you started your ordinary work again, something like a groan of complaint escaped you: “It’s always the same!”

And I told you: “Yes, it’s always the same. But that ordinary job —which is the same one your fellow workers do — has to be a constant prayer for you. It has the same lovable words, but a different tune each day.”

It is very much our mission to transform the prose of this life into poetry, into heroic verse." - The Furrow, 500

In fulfilling our mundane daily duties, whether they be in the office, in the home, or in the school, we are charged with the challenge to transform all of these tasks into an act of love. It is by doing these tasks with love that we offer our efforts to Christ and our work is made holy. To be completely honest though, I must say that I don't really know what it means, on a practical level, to offer your tasks to the Lord as an act of love. There is still a bit of a disconnect for me. I suppose that it begins with a prayer, or a series of prayers throughout the duration of the tasks of the day in conscienously offering your work as a prayer. It means looking for the Lord in the midst of these tasks. I envision that above all, it is a disposition of the heart that one develops by assenting to the duties of the moment, especially the small ones. By giving our own fiat, moment by moment, we accept what the Lord has for us. And in this moment, we find His love burning there. I wish I could get there in one fell swoop. I wish this was a disposition that I could just acquire automatically. But I know that it's a process and a grace, learned along the journey.

St. Josemaria Escriva, pray for us!

The Widow's Mite

Structuring and achieving an active spiritual life as a young professional can be very difficult at times. I have felt this frustration very keenly over the past few months. Perhaps this is not simply because the duties of working keep me busy for the greater part of the week, but because without a car, I am at the mercy of the (often unreliable) and inflexible schedule of public transportation. I would love to be able to hop in my car after work and go to the adoration chapel for a half an hour in the evenings sometime. Or have a Church close enough to my work that I could go to Mass on my lunch break. The reality is though, due to the location of my work, a relatively unflexible schedule, and the inability to just hop in my car and catch an evening Mass or night adoration, it's difficult for me to incorporate these spiritual events into my daily routine.

As someone who went to two vibrant Catholic colleges, with a plethora of daily Mass options and Eucharistic chapels right down the hall, it's disappointing not to be able to make these things part of my day everyday. These were definitely aspects of college life that I took for granted, and didn't realize how difficult it would be at times to get to daily Mass or adoration on a 8:30-5pm schedule as a young professional. Last week, I was particularly frustrated that I am seemingly a "slacker" in the spiritual life compared to many of my friends who are able to get to daily Mass and adoration on a much more regular basis. Yet as I was bemoaning my state, I felt the Lord say to me very clearly, "remember the widows mite".

Mark 12:42-44 says,

"But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

As I recalled this story, I felt the Lord encouraging me in my desire to give Him His due honor, worship, and praise. Sure, I could accomplish a lot more spiritual activities if I had a more flexible means of transportation, or more flexible schedule. But that is not how my life is structured right now. Right now, all He is asking of me is to give out of my poverty, and offer what I can to Him. Even if that just means being faithful to reading my Magnificat prayers each morning as I ride into work when I would rather be daydreaming or reading a novel. For those of us who aren't able to attend daily Mass or adoration, He is asking us to give Him our hearts, in union with the Sacrifice of the Mass; our desire to be with Him and to know Him more deeply in itself will bring Him great glory and honor. He merely asks us to give what we've got. He's not asking us to give what our friend has got, what our neightbor has got, or what or aunt has got. He is asking us to give what we have got. It could be a wide open schedule full of time to fit in multiple spiritual devotions a day, or it could be making it a priority to pray in the very midst of the hustle and bustle.

I remember vividly a talk that a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville gave to a group of Communication Arts students my senior year. She was talking about her job as a film producer and the integration of her spiritual life within that hectic schedule. She was reminding us that we were not always going to have the luxury of having the time or means to attend daily Mass, adoration, or prayer groups. Depending on what God was asking us to do in our lives and the circumstances that He places us in, it would most likely be a lot harder to find structured time to pray. I remember her saying that sometimes her spiritual life consisted, at the end of the day, a desperate prayer to the Lord, "Jesus, I need your help."

So I pray for the grace to give Him my fraction of a penny. May I give it with a zealous, sincere, and loving heart, in whatever way He asks.