"How you can stop worrying and enjoy the single life"

Thanks to a recommendation from a good friend, I recently discovered a fabulous blog written specifically for Catholic singles called "Seraphic Singles: How you can stop worrying and enjoy the single life." I've gotta say, this is the most refreshing and encouraging resource I have found for Catholic singles in a long time. Unlike many Catholic popular writing which simply dismiss the single life as a transitory phase (hopefully brief) that young people are a part of before embarking on their permanent vocation to be either married or religious, the author, Dorothy Cummings, encourages and inspires readers to live life fully as a single. She emphasizes the ways in which God is calling, leading, and working in the lives of singles and ways in which we can respond to these calls.

Sometimes the single life is a phase of preparation for the vocation of marriage or religious life, but it is not simply that. She maintains that God has a purpose for everyone's singleness, and we need to trust in His infinite Providence. I would say that her blog is summed up as "How do I best live the single life and how is God calling me to holiness in this very moment?" This attitude is what she calls being a "Seraphic Single."

She also has excellent, nuanced, and entertaining thoughts on the struggles and idiosyncrasies of the Catholic dating scene. I think that her honest analysis of the plight of searching singles is not only incredibly accurate but also enlightening. I definitely read through several months worth of postings the first day I found her blog. I look forward to reading the rest of the archives as well as reading her new book, "The Closet's all Mine!"

I found one of her recent postings about "The Goodness of Gratitude" to be particularly inspiring, and perhaps you will too. It's a reminder that instead of grasping for things that God doesn't have in store for us at the moment, we need to learn to be grateful for the gifts He has showered us with. Cummings says,

"My list of beatitudes has changed since I married, but my stance of gratitude has not. To choose to live in gratitude is to vote for happiness. It is not the province of married people. There are thousands of married people who have chosen to be miserable. If I set my mind to it, I could make myself miserable by blowing up my husband's occasional cross moods into monstrous injustices, by worrying endlessly about money, and by wailing over my lost academic career...Instead of smiling at the little children I see on the beach, I could weep and wail because they're not mine. But I don't choose to. I don't choose to be miserable. I choose to be happy. Happy rocks my world."

The way He loves us

I think that every once in awhile we all have powerful epiphanies of gratitude, realizing that what we have been given in this particular moment is not only good, but uniquely meant for us by the Heavenly Father. I had one of these moments the other day, when I was walking into an art museum cafe where I sometimes have lunch. It's a beautiful little cafe in the front of the museum, and it's just a fun, peaceful place to eat my lunch. I thought to myself, "Hey, this is pretty cool that I can come to an art museum cafe whenever I want!" I can also walk around the lovely grounds of Constitution Gardens or the Elipse on my lunch hour, taking in the lovely sights for a midday reprieve.

When I learned that I had gotten the job at my current organization, I was quite excited about the opportunity to work in such a beautiful, magnificent building. Though like any job where you get caught up in the routine and just get used to your surroundings, I too can just take for granted my working environment. But when it come down to it, I work in a lovely space; at least several times each day, I take the white rod iron spiral staircase in the library (for staff use only) just because it makes me feel like I am a character in a novel or some romantic scene. (Remember Marianne the Librarian? ) Or I like to watch the sunlight stream in the large windows of our office, with the regal marble columns framing the scene of the Washington monument and the bustling landscape. I love passing by the little museum rooms decorated according to different time 18th and 19th century furnishing styles, and hearing the classical folk music emanating from the museum gift shop. Working in a beautiful and pleasant environment has always been important to me – I am not the kind of girl that would take easily to working in a grey, monotone cubicle without windows.

Being in a place which is welcoming and inviting really affects the way that I am inspired and work. And so, when I found out that I got a job at this organization, I remember thinking, “How good God is. He knows how much I loves pretty things, old fashioned loveliness, and a welcoming space that inspires and soothes the soul. What a good Father, who gives me a job that corresponds with these little things that He knows will bring me simple delight and joy each day.” There was something so special about that realization: that God is an indulgent Father who surprises us beyond our expectations in the little ways He uniquely blesses each one of us with joy. So when I get frustrated with my job, or bored, or start questioning what I am doing at the moment, I like to think of this little reminder of His sweet faithfulness. I would encourage you to reflect on this as well. How has God given you blessings that correspond to you and the things you most treasure?

It’s kind of like when a family member or friend gives you a gift that you just love; that person knows you so well, is able to find something to give you that they know will bring you great joy. And so it is with Our Heavenly Father, who knows us better than we know our own selves; every once in awhile, we realize just how perfectly His little gifts “fit” us, and that indeed, His love is extravagant.