Trained by His discipline

The second reading at Mass today really spoke to me, and I wanted to share some of my reflections here.

Hebrews 12:5-7, 11-13:

"Brothers and sisters,

You have forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as children:
“My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord
or lose heart when reproved by him;
for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines;
he scourges every son he acknowledges.”
Endure your trials as “discipline”;
God treats you as sons.
For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline?
At the time,
all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain,
yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness
to those who are trained by it.

So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees.
Make straight paths for your feet,
that what is lame may not be disjointed but healed. "

When I heard this reading, I thought about the word "discipline" both in the sense of "being disciplined", but also in the sense of "growing in discipline." I must admit that by nature, I am not a very disciplined person. Case in point, my blog is updated, not multiple times a week as I had set out to do, but on a whim, when the spirit moves me. I know that discipline is something that I need to grow in, but unlike some people who have a penchant for creating order and discipline in their life that they might achieve specific daily goals, I have often viewed the virtue of discipline as stark, challenging, and just plain boring.

One of the phrases that really stuck out to me in this passage was the phrase about being "trained" by discipline. Discipline certainly is a training - it's strengthening your will to choose the good; it is a slow process, wherein which we train ourselves, and allow God to train us to follow His ways which often means denying ourselves instant gratification. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines discipline as "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, and also "control gained by enforcing obedience or order orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior."

It means saying yes to that which makes us better people, and saying no to that which tears us down. It is these little decisions, this specific framework, that shapes that pattern of our character through a gradual process.

The reason that this line really spoke to me is that it was an encouragement to me in perseverance. Often times, when we are in the middle of learning a specific discipline, whether physical or spiritual, and training ourselves to act or respond in a certain way, it is pure drudgery and often times, even painful. In the midst of the moment, all we see is how uncomfortable we are, or even the pain that we are experiencing. For example, when an athlete is running sprint after sprint, ready to keel over from exhaustion, it's hard for him to see the larger picture - the way that this is making him a better player.

photo by wwarby

He just knows that he is out of breadth and incredibly sore. It's not until days, months, or years down the road, that he realizes how those hours of grueling running drills helped him win the championship game. Later, after the most trying moments of learning this discipline, does the person recognize and experience in a profound way, that peaceful fruit of righteousness. Basically, to be able to endure and develop discipline, a person must have the eyes of faith. They must have the faith to trust that their decisions of self-denial will help form them into a better person, even if one is distracted by the pain of the moment rather than the success of the outcome.

About 7 weeks ago, I embarked on the discipline of eliminating sugar and chemical sweeteners out of my diet. I decided to do this for health reasons, and while it was something that I had contemplated for awhile, meeting with a nutritionist who also recommended this dietary change motivated me to actually take the plunge and whole-heatedly make the change. Although I am feeling so much better after eliminating sugar out of my diet and noticing vast improvements in my health, it's not to say that they process and the commitment has been easy. In fact, it's been really hard at times. But then I am reminded that the result of this discipline will inevitably be better health, and that is so much more important and satisfying than momentary gratification.

Because of this new commitment in my life, I especially liked the closing line of this passage, "Make straight paths for your feet,
that what is lame may not be disjointed but healed. " Sometimes, it's difficult to make these straight, narrow paths through discipline. But it is only through this discipline that we will be healed, be it body, mind, or soul.

What a beautiful vision the Lord gives His children in this passage. And I am certain He gives us the grace in abundance too.

Run so as to win

I ran 10 miles this Sunday morning. 10 miles. The occasion? The Cherry Blossom 10-miler race in Washington, D.C. It was my third and longest race, following two 10k races in which I participated over the past year. A year and a half ago, I would have laughed in your face if someone would have asked if I would ever consider running races. Let alone long distance races like 10 miles. I'm sure I would have thought that I would never be able to run a race that far, let alone enjoy or be interested in running races in general. But life brings new adventures, the kind that we least expect, and suddenly we find ourselves becoming passionate about things that at one point never would have crossed our radar -- reaching for goals that we never would have dreamed of having.

My running shoes...with the exciting race time chip attached!

I am not an athlete, I never have been one. I played volleyball in middle school and high school, but that was about the extent of my athletic participation. I enjoyed it a lot, but other than volleyball, I never had much of a pension for being athletic for the sake of being athletic, or working out for the sake of working out. Anything that involved physical activity beyond the realm of taking leisurely walks and hiking sounded so boring to me. So how did I start to love running, and participating in these racing events?

It's funny how God works, because at some moments His grace is more elusive, threading through the aspects of your life with veiled mystery, and other times, working so tangibly in an answer to your prayer of that very moment. My introduction to running was an example of the latter. I was preparing to move in with a house of 4 other girls last year, only one of whom I had known beforehand. In a conversation with my sister about my desire to achieve a more disciplined exercise regimen, I remember saying, "Hopefully one of my new housemates is really into working out. It's always more motivational when you live with someone who is really committed to and excited about that." I found out the day I moved in my new house that one of my new housemates fit that bill exactly: she was a marathon runner who was very enthused about running, working out, and being healthy in one of the most holistic ways that I have encountered. As a woman living in our modern culture, it is so difficult to sort through the messages of health, beauty, diet, and exercise that we are given. It's difficult to view our physical health and fitness in the authentic way that Our Maker calls us to. It's easy to be swayed by the message of the world which says that we are only as good as our blemish-free appearance; but also to fall prey to discouragement that we can never attain that supermodel ideal, so why bother.

Anyways, my housemate continually inspired me by her commitment to working out and being healthy that it is so important to nurture our bodies and care for them in the way that God intended because we are temples of the Holy Spirit. By participating in a consistent exercise routine, we help our WHOLE person to flourish -- body, mind, and spirit.

So my housemate would get up early in the morning for her daily runs, and set aside large chunks of time each weekend for her long distance runs. I was very impressed, but honestly thought "Hey, good for her." When she asked if we wanted to come to one of her races that fall, the Marine Corp Marathon, the rest of my housemates and I agreed to come cheer her on. I remember her saying something about how fun it is to see the race culture and be a part of the event, but I wasn't really expecting much. Little did I know, I would get drawn in.

It was a sunny October day, and I just remember how impressed I was watching the people in the race run to the finish line. Almost all of them had smiles on their faces after they finished. They were expressions of triumph, accomplishment, joy, and satisfaction. I didn't know what roadblocks and setbacks each of them faced in their daily training, but it was clear that the finishers were filled with a deep sense of accomplishment at reaching their goal. It was a joy that was infectious. Sure, some of it was the natural endorphin-fueled runner's high, but even more than that it was a deep seated experience of triumph within the human heart. My housemate was right. The experience of seeing the elated runners that day left a great impression on me. As us girls were leaving the race grounds, my housemate was telling us how we should try and run a race (an idea that she proposed many times in the future as well) because it was such a neat experience. There was something in me that was warming up to the idea, thinking "maybe so." Two months late, my New Years Resolution? Signing up for a 10k race. And the rest was history.