Warm Autumn breakfasts: Pear Cinnamon Quinoa

I tried this recipe for breakfast this morning, and it was so delicious! A perfect spicy warm dish for a chilly rainy autumn day like today. It's very healthy too - quinoa is high in protein and gluten-free. I substituted a packet of stevia instead of agave to create a sugar-free version.

Pear and Cinnamon Quinoa
Adapted from Pikelet and Pie. (Check out the link for beautiful pics of this recipe!)

serves 2 or 3.
1/2 cup quinoa
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup milk
1 pear, cut into small cubes.
1/2t ground cinnamon
1 packet of Stevia
handful of toasted almonds.

Rinse quinoa well. Carefully shake as much water as you can off and place in a pan with the water and milk. Cook covered over medium heat, stirring frequently until quinoa is cooked, about 15 mins. When the quinoa is ready, stir in the pear, cinnamon and sugar and heat through. Serve sprinkled with almonds.

Resumes and Samaritan opportunities

flickr/by Caitlinator

Between finishing up graduate school and looking for my first professional position and my current situation of looking for a more interesting, better paying job, I feel like I have been writing resumes and cover letters for the past two years straight. And actually, that's pretty accurate. In the midst of the great job search, I often get discouraged and frustrated, thinking that much of my effort is just wasted time. Lately, I have had to consciously convince myself that I must use cover letter writing and my job application efforts as an offering to God, as an opportunity to grow in holiness. Because if I don't put this spin on it, it does look pretty discouraging to me.

I have a very sweet story relating to resume writing from the other day though. A lesson in the fact that you just never know how God is going to use your efforts.

On Monday, I decided to check out a coffee house in my area that I had never been to before. I pass it frequently, and have been curious what it's like, so I thought that if I was going to work on a job application, I might as well go somewhere interesting.

I did enjoy it - the place had a nice, homemade ambiance, with eclectic furniture, made-to-order sandwiches and wraps, and work-conducive mellow music. I was there for about an hour working on a particular application, and was glad to be able to finish the application and send it in on the spot. Because it was a weekday (Sundays and Mondays are my days off), there weren't many other folks there in the middle of the day, besides a young couple, and a thirty-something African American woman sitting on the couch a little ways behind me.

As I stood up to start packing up my computer, the woman behind me said, "Excuse me, Miss? Do you know much about computers? I am having trouble with this program." I answered that I did know a little about computers and I walked over so I could see what her question was.

As I began to try and adjust the settings for her in Microsoft Vista (which is so frustrating and confusing), she asked me, "Are you an artist?" I smiled and shook my head. "No, I'm not an artist." "Oh," she said. I could tell she was a little disappointed. "I am looking for a writer." I perked up a bit. "Oh," I said. "Well I do write." The smile came back to her face. "You do? I've been looking for a writer who could help me with this resume!" I told her I would be happy to look over her resume for her, and she was thrilled.

She proceeded to tell me her story. She and her husband were artists, and made African textile art for a living. Her husband was originally from Mexico, and she was from Mali, Africa. When the two of them fell in love, she taught him about Bogolan, a beautiful patterned textile art that originated in Mali. She has lived in the United States for 7 years. They want to begin renting a studio in the area to teach classes about this art, but they were required to submit a resume for review before they were accepted for the studio.

The woman was a native French speaker, and although she spoke very good English, the information on the resume was written in very broken English. She explained that she really wants to go to college so she can learn how to write in English better, and use the computer better.

As I went through and proofread the resume and suggested changes, the she told me, "I have never done a resume in English before. Someone told me that I should come to this cafe and maybe I would meet a writer who could help me. I am so glad I found you! I have been coming here for a week waiting to meet a writer. I was shy to ask you, but thank you, thank you!"

I was so touched in the moment but God's Providence and the way He brings people together. I was just thrilled to be able to help this woman, and use my two years of resume writing experience to help her. It made all my efforts seem so much more worth it, that I could bring so much joy to her.

When I was leaving she thanked me many times. I gave her my e-mail address and told her to keep me posted and let me know how it all turned out. "Oh, God will bless you!" she said, "God will save you!" "Do you see the smile you brought to my face?" She said.

I has made a new friend. God is good. And my heart was full.

Thoughts on the movie "Last Train Home"

I knew today was going to be a rainy, chilly day in Washington D.C., and I thought it would be the perfect day to see a movie in the theaters.

I have been wanting to check out the E Street Cinema, a Landmark Theater in downtown Washington D.C. that shows independent films, documentaries and classic films. I enjoyed my first trip there today, and thought it was a very nice, pleasant theater...much more sophisticated and less rowdy than your typical "pop" theater. (Their snack bar includes an espresso bar...very cool).

I looked up what was showing and decided to see the film "Last Train Home" with my brother and a friend. This is a documentary film about a Chinese migrant family and the sacrifices, struggles, and hardships that they endure in order to support their children as factory workers. While the parents work thousands of miles away in the city at a grueling, crowded clothing factory, their son and daughter live in the farm with their grandmother who raises them and sees that they are diligent with their studies.

The story particularly focuses on the coming of age of the rebellious teenager daughter whose bitterness towards her absent parents drives her to runaway from her studies in the country and seek her independence as a factory worker herself. Meanwhile, the parents struggle with their guilt and sorrow at the sacrifices they have had to make in order to provide for their children: they have to slave away in the city and only can see their children once a year during the New Years Holiday. The utter chaos and desperation that these migrant workers experience is exemplified most starkly during their journey back to their families. The movie is titled "Last Train Home", because every year during the holiday 130 million migrant workers desperately wait and struggle to get train tickets back to see their loved ones in the countryside.

This movie is poignant and painful to watch as it depicts the deplorable conditions in which these migrant workers must live, and the sacrifices they have to make in order for their families to survive. It also depicts the tension between generations, each with their own ideas of success and independence. The parents in this family are focused singularly on how well their children do in school; for them they see education as the only way for their children to live a better life. But their harsh expectations for their children undercut their ability to communicate love and affirmation that their children desperately need.

A very chilling, but eye-opening documentary, this film is definitely incredibly thought provoking. It begs the question, at what cost does the Western world obtain so many of it's commodities? What can we do in the midst of such realities and such injustice?

The cinematography of this film is stunning. The panoramas of China's rural countryside are just breathtaking. The shots that emphasize the color and tranquility of the country are expertly juxtaposed with the dark, dank shots of the cities to exemplify the contrast and interdependence of the two worlds.

More than anything, this film portrays the way that this economic and social system in a communist China tears them apart, and the struggles that they face when piece their families back together during the one time each year when they are reunited. As one of the migrant workers on the train says, "We are away from our family all year long. If we cannot spend the holiday together, it would be pointless." So we are shown the sacrifice it takes for these migrant workers to make money for their families, while at the same time seeing the heart wrenching cost that this separation itself requires.

Sunday Snippets: A Catholic Blog Carnival, September 26th

I'm new to the "Sunday Snippets" group, a Catholic blog carnival where Catholic bloggers share their favorite posts from the week. I'm excited to be a part of this virtual Catholic writers community!

My submissions are:

Living room concert with Rosie Thomas (a fantastic musician whose music you should hear if you haven't yet)
From Drudgery to Prayer (reflections on sanctifying daily work)
You Know You are a Frequent Bus Rider When... (thoughts from my commuting life)

What did you post about this week? Stop by the weekly Catholic Carnival and share what you've been blogging. Be sure to visit RAnn at This, That and the Other Thing and check out some posts from other bloggers participating in Sunday Snippets this week. You're invited to share a blog post or two from last week. Here are my contributions for this week:

You know you are a frequent bus rider (and probably don't own a car) when...

 flickr/by LancerE

 1. You know the layout of the city according to what but route travels that street.

2. You get confused when you are riding in a car and don't have to pull a string to make the vehicle stop.

3. You are excited when you get on the bus at the beginning of the route -- more likely to get a seat!

4. You have a favorite row and a favorite side of the bus.

5. You know whether you are early, late or on time according to the familiar or unfamiliar faces that you see on the bus.

6. You know that when a bus approaches your stop and it's not the one you want to catch, you shake your head and the bus knows to continue on.

7. You know that it's not cool to sit on the end seat with an empty window seat beside you when the bus is getting full.

8. You can stand in the aisle of the bus and "surf" without holding onto the posts...until the bus comes to a lurching stop.

9. You know exactly how to layer 3-4 bags under the seat or on your lap when coming home from the grocery store.

10. You are are not afraid to run full speed in a skirt and heels when you see your bus approaching and you need to beat it to the stop.

11. You have some of the inside ads memorized. Even the ones in Spanish.

12. You know that if the electronic number on the front of the bus isn't working there is a taped sheet of paper with the number on the windshield.

13. You know that you will meet some of the most colorful characters on the bus that you will ever meet in your life.

14. You notice little things about your fellow riders, from the book they are reading to the way they smile...and that their simple kindness can really touch you, even briefly.

15. You know that bus "schedules" are merely a suggestion.

City spots: M.E. Swings Co. Coffee Roasters

Since I have lived in D.C. for three years now, I have definitely found many restaurants, cafes, parks, nooks, and crannies that have come to be my "favorites" for one reason or another. Perhaps every once in awhile I will feature one of these "City Spots" on my blog.

M.E. Swing Co.

flickr/ by tvol

Today's feature? M.E. Swing Co., Coffee Roasters on G Street, not too far from my work or the White House and Eisenhower Executive Office Building. I have always been a fan of discovering local coffee shops, for both their charm and their home-brewed coffee taste. Although I can enjoy coffee from Starbucks, Caribou, Panera, etc., I much prefer supporting a local establishment and find their coffee is often more flavorful.

M.E. Swing Co. has both the quaint historic ambiance, as well as truly amazing coffee. The coffee shop began in 1920, in it's original building on E Street, which at that time, also housed a large German roaster that was used to roast hundreds of pounds of coffee every day.

As M.E. Swing Co.'s website describes their rich history:

"The coffee business boomed in the Roaring 20’s, which saw D.C.’s E Street corridor filled with fashionable stores, soda fountains, restaurants, and clanging streetcars. Throughout the Depression of the 30's, and then the difficult war years, M.E. Swing continued to roast delicious coffee. By the 50's, Swing's Coffee was practically a D.C. institution. Congressman, ambassadors, senators, and the professional and working people of Washington came regularly to buy Swing's fresh-roasted coffee beans. As the decades passed, Swing’s has become a D.C. tradition, passed down from parents to children.

The now legendary Swing’s Coffeehouse was opened in 1994 at 1702 G Street, across from the historic Old Executive Office Building. Swing’s at G Street is filled with the original mahogany and mirrored fixtures, vintage burr grinders, wooden coffee bins, and counter-weight scales that graced the Mesco Building on E Street. Today’s M.E. Swing Coffee Roastery, located in Alexandria, VA, still operates classic German roasters, with the same craft and artistry as before, continuing the Swing’s tradition to this day. "

This coffee shop continues to be a "DC establishment" to this day. When I head there for an afternoon cup of Joe during my lunch hour, the line is often out the door, 25 people long. Lots of white-collared young professionals, government employees, and even White House special police officers frequent the joint. It really is the place to be.

My favorite coffee? If I'm ordering out, a soy latte is my beverage of choice. They also sell coffee beans by the pound, and yesterday I bought a pound of their chocolate raspberry blend. Mmm, it's just scrumptious. Almost good even to make me excited to get out of bed in the wee hours of the morning.

Definitely the next time you head down to the Capital area on a weekday (their shop is only open business hours), you must stop in and have the M.E. Swing experience!

From drudgery to prayer

A common theme of this blog, (and my life) particularly over the past year is meditating on how monotonous, rote-filled work days can reveal to me God's presence and His purpose for me. Perhaps others who have more exciting, challenging, and "rewarding" jobs have other themes that God is using to work in their lives. Maybe for you folks it's teaching you how to trust, giving you energy, giving you courage to carry out new initiatives, etc.

flickr/by mcclave

But the rest of us on the other end of the spectrum (and I suspect that there are many of you in a similar boat as myself), are continually trying to find meaning and purpose within our monotony. I often get very caught up in the "grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome, and find myself frequently thinking that if I was "in my vocation", be it as a wife and mother, a religious sister, or a consecrated Catholic single, I would be much more content, and life would be much more interesting. Yet as I was walking down the sidewalk during my lunch break today I was reminded that no matter what vocation you are in, many moments of your life are made up of this "drudgery". As a mother you will be doing laundry, grocery shopping and doing dishes, day in, and day out. As a religious, you are far from exempt from such daily duties as well - instead, they make up a major part of your life in between structured prayer times.

"Hmm," I thought to myself earlier today. "I guess I might as well get used to drudgery!"

It's one thing to hear the words of saints like St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Joseph Maria Escriva and their teachings on sanctifying one's daily work. It's another thing entirely to die to yourself and your desire for more naturally fulfilling, interesting work. It takes a deliberate act of the will to let this awareness of sanctifying grace seep into you and permeate your day. I would rather grumble through the day, frustrated to be so bored.

I am coming to a deeper awareness more and more that the key to transforming work from sheer drudgery to the opportunity to see the Lord reveal Himself in and through your work is daily prayer. When you start your day out with prayer (and better yet when you end it with prayer too), you can see all these little things in His light, and gain a glimpse of that Meaning behind it all. Without setting your work and your day before Him, it's easy for work to simply be laborious and nothing more. Yet I wonder, for those of us who are plagued with drudgery, if we do not experience a unique magnificence of His glory. For we have an opportunity to see His face in the least expected places, and He penetrates the ordinary corners of our little lives. We can't rely on the high of living a glamorous, entertaining job or adventure -- we are called take deep, deliberate looks throughout our day in order to uncover the pearl of great price.

In closing, I want to share a quote from Oswald Chambers from his book, "My Utmost for His Highest", in an essay on "Taking the Initiate Against Drudgery" :

"...if we will arise and shine, drudgery will be divinely transformed. Drudgery is one of the finest test to determine the genuineness of our character. Drudgery is work that is far removed from anything we think of as ideal work. It is utterly hard, menial, and dirty work. And when we experience it, our spirituality is genuinely tested and we will know or not whether we are spiritually genuine...

The inspiration of God is required if drudgery is to shine with the light of God upon it. In some cases the way a person does a task that makes work sanctified and holy forever. It may be a very common everyday task, but after we have seen it done, it becomes different. When the Lord does something through us, He always transforms it."

Living Room concert with Rosie Thomas

Rosie Thomas at Quincy House

Last night I went to a concert that probably goes down as one of my favorites. Rosie Thomas, an indie singer/songwriter gave a concert at the Quincy House - a house of Catholic guys not too far from where I live. It was really neat to attend a concert in such a small intimate setting. There were probably just over 30 people or so there.

I was introduced to Rosie Thomas through Pandora, and loved her simple, whimiscal songs and how she gets to the core of life, love, and loss in her pieces in a very relateable way. Many of her songs have a definite underlying tone of melancholy and saddness, but as she said at her concert, they also carry with them threads of hope. I think some of her songs about searching for love and searching for her place in the world really have resonated with me and my current state in life.

Although I went to the concert expecting to hear good music, I left the concert with so much more - I left feeling very inspired and encouraged, both as a young woman and an artist.

Rosie is a delightfully down-to-earth musician, eager to share her story with her audience, and to talk to them as long lost friends, rather than distant fans. From the minute she introduced her show, I was impressed at how real she was, and how much simple wisdom she sought to share with us.

It was very sweet, because her guitarist is now her husband; I believe they got married about two years ago. It was neat to watch them playing together, and to hear her talk about the ways that they complement and complete one another. What a beautiful witness to marriage. But she was talking about how when she got married, one of her fans came up to her and asked, "Aw, Rosie, are you still going to write sad songs?" She thought about it for a minute and then explained that, yes she would. She went on to say that even though marriage is a beautiful thing and she is so blessed to have found her soul mate, there are still going to be times of hardship. That's just life. You are always going to have struggles, and challenges, and loneliness. There is always going to be difficulties, and so yes, she was still going to be writing some sad songs. Her fan was grateful. She said, though, that despite the sad tones of many of her songs, she also sought to impart a deeper message of hope. Hope despite the sadness in life. I think this is why her music is so brilliant. We can all relate so well to the cries and wonderings within her songs, but there is still an underlying redemptive seed within them. And this, essentially, is what the Christian journey is all about.

Guitarist, Jeff Shoup and Rosie Thomas

Another thing that really inspired me about her performance was the way that she imparted her love for her art, and her love for using her art to touch people. She talked about the things that bring her joy, and she said "being vulnerable and transparent in my music" in order to touch people brings her a great joy. It made me think about how vulnerability and transparency is often an essential part of creating art; it's about revealing deep parts of yourself, your insecurities, your hopes, your fears, and your dreams to the world through a particular medium. It can be a little scary at times to be so open and honest. But in the end, it is that vulnerability that creates a bridge to other seeking souls and strikes a chord within their own personal experience. And in the end, this is incredibly fulfilling to use your art to speak truth.

I could go on and talk about many of the other things she shared between her songs, but I think I will leave it at this, with the lyrics of one of my favorites of her songs. She reassured us that this song was a testament to the fact that even when you think you will never find true love, it can happen after even after a long time of waiting, doubting, wishing. A lovely witness to hope.

All My Life

I've been waiting all my life
I've been waiting for you to come
I've been traveling and wandering
Alone on my own for too long
I swear I tried to convince myself
It would be much easier being alone
But after running circle after circle
I'm tired of being on my own
I've been waiting all my life
I've been waiting for you to come
I've been traveling and wandering
Alone on my own for too long
I wish I could have met your brother
I would tell him how much I am in love
I swear I'll ask him question after question
Confessions about you growing up
I thank God for blessing me
Well beyond I could have thought
And reminding me of how good life can be
When you let yourself fall into his love
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
I've been waiting for you to come

The best company

“My idea of good company, Mr. Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.”

“You are mistaken,” said he gently, “that is not good company, that is the best.”

—Jane Austen, Persuasion

 
I recently read this quote on a blog post from the IMAGE blog and it instantly resonated with me. I thought..."a-ha! Yes, that is what I call good company too." Then I began thinking, appreciating, how so many of my friends and acquaintances fit this description; how I enjoy their cleverness, their intellect, and their conversation.

This weekend I feel like I was particularly blessed with a plethora of amazing, thought-provoking conversations with friends, old and new. We talked about vocation, femininity, music, relationships, politics, food, nutrition, expectations, hopes, and dreams.

I am so grateful for this good company. You dear friends inspire me, challenge me, encourage me, entertain me, and enlighten me. What a gift this is, to walk through the valley of life, trudging up and down the paths together, with such true and heartfelt companions.

Our Lady of Sorrows, Pray for us

 

 ~

"  Consider how love draws all the pains, 

all the torments, all the sufferings, all the sorrows,

the wounds, the passion, the cross, 

and even the death of our Redeemer

into the heart of his most holy Mother."

- St. Francis DeSales

~

Today is the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. I have developed a deeper devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows over the past several years, and this is probably my favorite Marian feast day. When I am suffering and consumed with great sorrow, I find such consolation in turning to Our Lady of Sorrows. After all, she bore the greatest sorrows in her heart; to stand by the side of the Cross and watch her Son and Savior be crucified. No one can even begin to fathom the depths of sorrow, sadness, and pain that she experienced. What human being could better understand the depths of our own unique suffering, then? Who could better know the special pain of our crosses, the ones that we pick up day in, and day out?

When I am going through a difficult time in my life, and experiencing a particular sorrow, I find a great comfort and strength in talking with others who are also enduring great suffering.  There is such solace found in uniting ourselves with others who are in the midst of pain, for they know in a deep, profound way that pain plagues our hearts. It is like this with Our Lady of Sorrows, too, except she understands our suffering much deeper than any other human being could. And her heart is more closely united with the Savior's heart than any other human heart. If we join our sorrow to her sorrows then, we join them together in the Savior's Sacred Heart to become purified, healed, and made new.

This weekend's cultural city excursions...Normal Rockwell exhibit

This weekend I was able to take advantage of some of the city's cultural opportunities, including going to a Norman Rockwell exhibit at the Smithsonian Museum of American Art, entitled "Telling stories: Norman Rockwell from the Collections of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg ."

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing some of Norman Rockwell's sketches and paintings up close. My family owns at least one Norman Rockwell print which used to hang in our kitchen, and I remember seeing various other Norman Rockwell artwork on plates, mugs, and prints in the houses of my relatives when I was growing up. His style and depiction of American life is just so distinct, quaint, and iconic. Rockwell really did have a great gift for capturing the emotion, meaning, and values in scenes from normal, everyday American life. His ability to depict facial expressions was one of the things that I found most impressive. Some of the expressions on his subjects literally made me laugh out loud; the viewer truly enters into the emotion that each painting conveys.

My favorite work in the exhibit was actually a sketch entitled "Charwomen in Theater" The following image is a painting of the same composition.

Norman Rockwell, 1946.

The sentiments in the sketch were very sweet to me -- the sketch depicts two cleaning ladies that work within a theater who have stopped for a moment and look curiously at the theater bill, anxious to read about the latest performance. To me, it's a testament to the ability that art has to touch all people, rich or poor, manual laborer or aristocrat. All men and women have a thirst to experience art which adds beauty to their world and depth to their day to day work.

A few of the other works that I especially enjoyed were "Coming and Going" (depicts the scene of a family coming and going in the car from a family vacation), "Boy Reading Adventure Story (the librarian in me loves the way that this depicts the ability of books to widen one's imagination), "Couple in the Rumble Seat" (shows the excited woman and terrified man's reactions as they ride in the new fangled automobile), and "Happy Birthday Miss Jones" (depicts a teacher's reaction to her students' birthday surprises for her). All in all, it was certainly a delightful exhibit and made me want to learn more about Norman Rockwell's paintings and the stories behind them. Check out the online exhibit if you get the chance, here!

Mid-day reprieve

I had a very lovely lunch break today. Yes, my lunch (an antipasto salad from Potbellys) was delicious, but more importantly, the weather and my picnic spot was just glorious. It was a cool 70-something degree day, with an intermittent breeze. When the weather is nice I like to venture across the street from my work to this specific garden/park, which has a large rippling pond, lots of entertaining ducks, and a plethora of shady spots. I particularly love the weeping willow trees along the pond. They are so wispy and graceful, I love watching the long branches sway in the wind.

When I initially found a bench and sat down, I thought to myself, "I'll eat my lunch and then read some of my Magnificat." That would be very contemplative-in-the-city-esque of me, I thought. But alas, I realized that I had it left it on the desk in my office. Instead, after I finished my meal, I just spent a few minutes drinking in the beauty in front of me, enjoying the feeling of the crisp breeze that signals the coming of fall. I remembered how blessed I am to have this lovely spot where I can spend 20 minutes of my day and get refreshed and rejuvenated. I think it's really important for professionals to have their own oasis where they can get refreshed amidst their day. Although not everyone has the luxury of being able to walk to a green, picturesque park for their lunch break, something as simple as taking a walk outside the office can give one the opportunity to gather up our thoughts reflect on the day so far, and renew our purpose. That's what contemplation is really all about. Taking the time to step outside of the routine, in order to more clearly see the meaning, purpose and beauty in all that we do and are given.

Where do you find your reprieve in the midst of your day? Have you found a favorite spot that inspires and rejuvenates you?

City gardens in Pittsburgh

I went to visit my sister who is living in downtown Pittsburgh (just about a half an hour from the town I grew up in) yesterday. My sister is serving as a FOCUS missionary for University of Pittsburgh, and living on the bustling city campus in Oakland. She just moved there a few weeks ago from a small rural Michigan College, so I get the sense that she will be learning what it means to be a contemplative in the city very much over the next few months. The area of the city that she lives in, however, is swarming with college students, rather than professionals, politicians, diplomats, and tourists, so ministry has a much different vibe than it would in D.C. All the same, I am excited to hear about her city adventures.

I enjoyed touring the area where she lives, and especially enjoyed stopping by the eclectic coffee shop and used bookstore in the university district. I am looking forward to exploring more of my native city with her. It was a particularly beautiful day, and the landscaping looked very lovely. I love finding greenery and flowers within the city, and especially liked this garden in front of the Carnegie Free Library of Pittsburgh. If you look hard enough you can see some folks reading on benches in the background. Looks like a perfect late summer afternoon activity to me!

Changing the pace

flickr/ by laffy4k

I'm home for a few days for the long Labor Day weekend with my family in our small Western Pennsylvania town. I always notice the distinct change of pace when I go from the big metropolitan city back to my small town, but today this particularly struck me when I was out shopping for a few hours this morning. I went to an outlet mall about an hour north of my house and it was quite crowded because of the holiday sales. As I wove through the crowds on the sidewalk, I found myself thinking over and over again, "Why are these people walking so slow?" or "I wish they would pick up the pace!"

The DC girl in me was the driven girl on a mission, trying to get where I needed to go. It's funny though, because I have been in DC for so long now that the pace doesn't consiously strike me as "fast", anymore. At least, not until I leave the metropolitan and venture into the suburbs, or a small town, or the countryside. You get so used to the fast pace that you think it's normal. But yet, whenever I step away from it I am almost in awe of the fact that other people in other places are completely content to kick it down a few notches. And to be honest, I that once the residal fast paced perspective in me stops spinning, I am content to go slower too. Away from the hustle and bustle, crowds and traffic, I realize that my heart really is more at home in a less hectic place. Perhaps my gradual recognition of this is the stirring in my heart that a new adventure for me might be on the horizon. Who knows. But for the next day or two before I have to head back to the city I will enjoy the intimacy and slower pace of the place I call home.

Little dreamers

It's so easy as we seek to discern our vocations to get bogged with intellectual analysis of pros and cons. To get overwhelmed by "what ifs" "why nots" or "when then?" Even when making little life decisions, we often over analyze and over think. Not only that. We simply rely on being realistic and rational. We become skeptical and fearful that things will ever turn out the way we desire them to. We have lost our childhood dreams, our fresh optimism that used to warm our hearts and quicken our pace.

The other day I was listening to this delightful song by Priscilla Ahn, which always strikes a chord in me because of its sentimentality and honesty. It's best understood when you hear it with the music, but it goes like this...

I was a little girl
Alone in my little world
Who dreamed of a little home for me
I played pretend between the trees
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves
And laughed in my pretty bed of green

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest swing
I had a dream

flickr/ by Big C Harvey

Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down at me
God answered in silent reverie
I said a prayer and fell asleep

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest tree
I had a dream

oooo....

Now I'm old and feeling gray
I don't know what's left to say
About this life I'm willing to leave
I lived it full, I lived it well
As many tales I live to tell
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now
To fly from the highest wing
I had a dream

Anyways, as I listening to this song the other day, it brought back memories of my own childhood memories and dreams. Of playing house with my little sister, pretending we were all grown up with husbands and families. Of the optimism and faith that I envisioned my own journey would follow, in perfect timing and gracefulness, the succession from elementary school, to high school, to college, to marriage, to family, to grandmother and beyond. You have these naive little expectations in life when you are young, and you dream in grandiose visions. Of course you have all this opportunity ahead of you. Of course you have a beautiful world to explore.

It occurred to me when listening to this song, that amidst the chaos and complexities of life, I have lost touch with the true desires of my heart. I have lost much of the innocent, exuberant, audacious dreaming that is the hallmark of childhood. Imagination has been replaced with practicality and dealing with life's hard knocks. Perhaps, I thought to myself, discerning one's path in life is not simply achieved by lurching forward, trying to calculate every possible bend and bump in the road, but in reaching backward. In reclaiming the dreams your heart held in childhood, and rooting for those dreams anew. Perhaps those dreams will be more nuanced, more complex as they are woven into the inevitable path of our adult lives. But by their very nature they will give us that spark of joy and expectation to propel our resignation into hope.