Find me here

Dear readers,

I have made it safely to Nashville, and have just completed a successful first week at the new job! Phew!

I have decided to transition from my Contemplative in the City blog to a different blog from now on. I wanted to maintain the integrity of Contemplative in the City for what it is, chronicling my life in Washington, D.C.

Please follow my musings and adventures now at my blog, titled Intimations of Grace: intimationsofgrace.blogspot.com

I am excited to begin a new chapter of life, and of blogging, and I hope you'll join me!

Onward to Nashville!

I head out bright and early tomorrow to Nashville. For the next couple weeks I will be blogging rather sporadically since I won't have accessible home internet service. Please keep me in your prayers as I begin this new chapter of my life. Thanks for sharing in my journey as a "Contemplative in the City" in Washington, D.C. See you in Nashville!

Words for today

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"I will lead the blind on their journey ; by paths unknown I will guide them.
I will turn darkness into light before them, and make crooked ways straight.
These things I will do for them, and I will not forsake them."

~ Isaiah 42:16
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Be not afraid

I am afraid.

Two days, and I am moving 700 miles away.

I am afraid of moving to a strange place. I am afraid of being so far away from my family. I am afraid because I am leaving dear friends. I am afraid because this next step means embarking into the unknown alone. I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of being lonely. I am afraid of the challenge of making new friends. I am afraid of what people will think of me, the new girl. I am afraid of the task of starting a new job.

Each time I have been about move on to something completely new in my life, I have been some combination of terrified, anticipatory, and uncertain all at the same time. It all adds up to a giant pit in my stomach. Right now, these feelings of fear and uncertainty consume me.

"Be not afraid. Open wide the doors to Christ."

I am clinging to these words of John Paul II - may they be my strength as I follow the Lord to where He has called me.

My favorite Washington D.C. city church -- St. Patrick's in Chinatown

Flickr/by taygete05

One of my favorite places in downtown D.C. has been St. Patrick's Cathedral, near the Penn Quarter/Chinatown area of the city. I love the architecture of the church, and the simple, peaceful interior, with it's soft white walls and saint icons above the altar. I always felt such a sense of serenity inside of this church -- the serenity of God's presence in the midst of the hustling, bustling city.

Fortunately, St. Patrick's Church was sort of on the way to work for me, so when I mustered up enough energy to make the early morning trek via bus and metro, I could attend Mass there before work. It was such a special morning ritual on the days I went to Mass there. I loved arriving at the church while it was still the blue dawn outside...much of the city still seemed to be asleep. Inside the walls of St. Patrick's I felt a unique ability to meditate on the scriptures in light of my upcoming work day. It was rejuvenating and encouraging to see the other downtown D.C. professionals that were regular Mass goers at St. Patrick's as well -- all coming to the fountain of grace to be spiritually fed before they embarked on their daily responsibilities.

After Mass ended, I loved opening the heavy wooden doors that immediately plop you out into the busy city blocks. Now, just 35 minutes later, the sun would be shining, the sidewalks crowded with people heading to work. I had received the Risen Lord, and now it was my unique task to talk Him into the world, in subtle and genuine ways, even just through a simple smile. I had faith that after receiving Him in the Eucharist, He would give me the opportunity to spread His light among; all of us who received the Eucharist during the work day, whether in the early morning, at noon-time, or during the after work commute, were walking tabernacles of His presence. What an honor and a gift.

Like many city churches, St. Patrick's is sandwiched between office buildings and whizzing traffic. Perhaps that's what I have loved most about St. Patricks. The way it is both an oasis of God's peace where one can take time away from the world; but at the same time, it is a witness to God's presence through which believers gain strength to bring God's love into the world.

Exactly where you are supposed to be

I wish I would have read this a long time ago...it describes everything that I sought to encompass in my Contemplative in the City life. An affirmation of the dignity and purpose of your unique work, exactly where you are:


"He [the worker] can comfort himself by the certainty that, if there is no sin in it, the work he must do is the work of God wants him to do, if not for ever, at least for today. If he is in this particular workroom or office it is because here it is that Christ wishes to be today. If he is among these particular people it is because to these particular people that Christ wants to give his love today. If he has this particular work to do, it is because Christ wants that particular work done in his way. Because these facts are true, it is a more glorious and a more apostolic thing for that boy to do that job, in the name and the power of Christ, than (imagining this to be possible) to convert the whole of Asia in his own name and power. To do the ordinary work of the world with Christ's integrity is to be about the Father's business." ~ Caryll Houselander


Happy workday, friends. Work in the confidence that you are doing His work, exactly where you are.

Letting Love in

From Kelly Foster's gripping post on the Good Letters blog:

"There is nothing more difficult, there is nothing more risky in the whole of the world, than to believe in your bones that you are loved [by God]. To shoulder the weight of that is too much for most of us, and so we don’t. We evade. We duck and cover. We settle. We run and hide.

But I don’t want to do that anymore. And I am trying to learn how to open myself just a fraction to a kind of love—a love that transcends circumstance or condition—that I know has the power to demolish me.

There is an oft-quoted line of Blake’s that I’ve kept with me for years, “We are here to learn to endure the beams of love.”

And so enduring, the ground then shifts beneath us. For a second, the glory in those around us is revealed, the fire in our hearts becomes too much to bear, the beauty of the world is a drum that beats too loud. And staggered but humbled, we keep going. We pray to know Love Loving. And pray never to forget it again."

God pulls through just in time

Well, my friends, I am thrilled to report that I have found and purchased a wonderful car. It's a 2005 Honda Civic, with all of the features that I wanted to find in a car, in excellent condition, and at a reasonable price. I am very excited, my first car ever! God is good, very good. The salesmen at this dealership were very helpful, pleasant to work with, and very accommodating in helping me navigate through the complicated process of buying a car in Virginia in the midst of moving to Tennessee. What a relief!

God's timing was a little too slow for me, but it was His perfect timing and He has got me covered. Because I went to the dealership when I did, and they had had the car for a little while, the salesmen were looking to make a sale and very open to price negotiation which was such a blessing. This might not have been the case had I discovered this car a few weeks ago.

Every time that I need to trust God will provide for my needs, every time when He is stretching my trust, I have to remember that "those who trust the Lord will not lack any good thing" ~ Psalm 34:10. Because it is true that He takes care of His children, and covers us with His providential care. I need to remember that the Lord has been abundantly faithful in providing everything from housing to transportation to friendships in the past and that He will continue to provide every good thing for me as I journey into the unknown.

If you are in the midst of a trial that is testing your patience and perseverance, remember the faithfulness of the Lord; even if it is through gritted teeth, press forward and know that it will come together in His time. Over and over again, though the process is often wearisome and discouraging, the Lord has proven that He will deliver on His promises, solve our quandaries, and provide for our needs. It will not come a minute too soon, nor a minute too late:

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay. "
~ Habakkuk 2:3

Thank you Jesus.

"

Surrender is hard work

We've all heard countless times that the key to our peace in any situation, large or small is that we surrender our will to God's will. We have to trust in His providence, and abandon ourselves to His providence and He will take care of the rest.

For the weary, exhausted person tired of dealing with the challenge at hand, the idea of surrender is quite appealing. When I finally reach the point of letting go of a particular trial in my life, I think that in the back of my mind, I am expecting that now that I have decided to surrender, the hard work on my part is over. God will just take care of everything. I'm off the hook.

Unfortunately though, this is not usually the case. Surrender does not mean that we will immediately be freed from the grunt work and our problems will be miraculously solved.

This hit me hard today as I continued on my car search. I spent six hours this afternoon (my brother kindly lent me his car to drive around to various dealerships) trying to find my way to unfamiliar places in the pouring rain, getting lost, having my phone battery die on me while I was trying to get directions, dealing with the tiresome antics of car salesmen, and the list goes on. I found myself thinking, "Really God! I have surrendered this to you! Why does it continue to be this hard?"

Then I realized that sometimes it's even harder to trudge through the grunt work after you have intentionally surrendered to God, because you expect Him to take all of the grunt work out of your way, pronto. But really, surrender is more of a disposition of the heart; an ability to climb the mountains in front of you with renewed faith. God might not move the mountain in front of you, but He will give you the extra grace to get over the mountain. Or maybe He'll give you a shortcut. But He won't necessarily bail you out in the way you imagine He should.

"Our peace...does not mean that we shall longer longer fight. Temptation will still be temptation, suffering will still be suffering, the world will still be the world...but the world will not destroy us.  The peace of Christ is Christ. There is no other. 'I have said this to you that in me you may find peace. In the world you will only find tribulation, but take courage. I have overcome the world.' How often in Christ we see peace and tribulation together...The risen Christ shows his wounds and bestows his peace in one gesture of love. " ~ Caryll Houselander

There is a saying, "Work as if 90 percent of what happens depends on you and 10 percent depends on God. Prays as if 90 percent depends on God and 10 percent depends on you."

Feet on the ground, eyes to heaven, Lord, give me your grace.

The end of an era

flickr/by Sapphireblue

The Willard Hotel, on Pennsylvania and 14th Street.

I often walk down this block on my commute to work, and this is one of my

favorite architectural structures in Washington, D.C.

 It was with a bittersweet heart yesterday that I marked the last day working in downtown Washington, D.C. For as many challenges I have had in my job, and I many things that frustrated me about working amidst the hustle and bustle of the city, it really was a special, grace-filled 13 months for me.

Plopping my contemplative heart in the middle of a loud, chaotic, secular work-a-day world was quite a stretch for me. Not to mention working in our Nation's capital with it's unique busyness and goings-on. But the ways in which God spoke to me, penetrating the concrete buildings, busy city sidewalks, roaring traffic and the seemingly endless hours of data-entry was such an experience of spiritual growth for me.

"Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon him while he is near." - Isaiah 55:6

Having spent the last six years in Catholic colleges I was used to being able to seek the Lord in distinctly sacred settings, namely Churches and chapels and religious talks. Yet this past year I discovered the unique and exciting challenge of seeking the Lord in the secular day-to-day sphere. And you know what I learned? The more secular the place, the more powerful the manifestation of His presence becomes. When you seek God inside a church, you have a greater expectation of His response. But when you seek Him in what seem like unlikely places, His presence is all the more amazing. You begin to not just experience God's presence simply confined to a church, or in your 10 minutes of prayer time, but walking with you step-by-step, each street you cross, each smile you encounter, each tender word you hear, enveloping you with His spirit.

What a gift it has been to seek a contemplative spirit in the city. I pray for others who continue to be His hands and feet in the most urban, unlikely places - that He would transform them and guide them. And I pray that as I segway into this next chapter of my life (I head to Nashville next Friday), God will reveal to me the new ways in which I shall seek His face.

Saints Hall of Fame

Happy All Saints Day!

What beautiful examples we have in the Saints to spur us onward in our earthly journey. The beautiful thing about the saints is that their struggles, joys, experiences, and teachings can touch our hearts in a very personal way. We can always find a saint to identify with during something in our life that we are going through; their holy wisdom, lived out in very concrete ways gives us such inspiration in this valley of tears. The Church triumphant prays for all of us pilgrims striving towards our heavenly goal.

Which saints make your hall of fame?

Some of my favorites are the following. Most of these saints I have developed a devotion to through their spiritual writings, which have really resonated with me.
 
St. Therese of Lisieux
St. Edith Stein
St. John of the Cross
St. Bernard of Clairvaux
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
St. Alphonsis Ligouri
St. Elizabeth Lesuer
St. Gianna Molla
St. Joseph
St. Zita

All you holy men and women pray for us!