Contemplative in the country (for a day)

This past Sunday afternoon through Monday evening I had the opportunity of spending some time with my friend Claire at the organic farm where she works in Owings, Maryland. The farm is called "The Lamb's Quarter", and they grow 4-5 acres worth of fresh, organic vegetables, as well as selling grass-fed meat and free-range eggs. The Lamb's Quarter is a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), and they also sell their food at the Farmer's Market in Old Town Alexandria on Saturday mornings.

Claire has worked at the farm for a few months now, and after hearing her intriguing tales about farm life (some of which can be read on her blog), I was excited to be able to experience "the farm life" first hand. As a "city girl", I had never done any farming before...and although I aspire to be a successful gardener, I really don't have much experience in that realm either. Our day was filled with a plethora of farm tasks though, so I got a varied introduction to a-day-in-the-life of a farmer.

Our activities included:
~ Harvesting green beans, yellow beans, and flat beans
~ Harvesting beautiful sunny pattypan squash and zucchini
~ Harvesting okra
~ Transferring about 25 boxes of frozen meat from the truck to the walk-in freezer
~ Potting and planting new squash seeds
~ Harvesting several different varieties of tomatoes; this was the largest crop of the day, yielding about 6 buckets full

In 90 degree + temperatures as the beating sun shone down with dense humidity, I can certainly say that farming is not a venture for the faint of heart. I was quite exhausted after just one day of it - I can't imagine the stamina and endurance necessary for completing farm tasks all year long. I definitely have a new found respect for farmers and farmhands - as well as a greater respect for the time, care, and energy that is put into local organic crops. It makes me think that spending the extra money for local organic products is worth every penny; it's not just buying food, but buying food produced through a labor of love.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time at the farm, and as I was helping to harvest some of the vegetables I was reflecting on the contemplative nature of this sort of task, versus my computer-centered city desk job.

It is true, that out in the country, under the wide open sky and in the midst of God's beautiful creation, the atmosphere is particularly conducive to meditation and prayer. The atmosphere there is so peaceful, so simple.

Some of my favorite moments on the farm were:

~ Noticing the quiet rustic surroundings; being able to hear more clearly the bird songs by day, and the crickets chirping in the evening.
~ Observing the amazing array of bugs that found a home amongst the plants and the soil. Some of them were quite intricate with their unique camouflage.
~ Tasting a sun-ripened black cherry tomato, straight off the vine
~ Looking out into the rolling meadows, seeing the long brush wave in the wind, and the butterflies flit through the fields.
~ Feeling the refreshing, gentle country breeze in the midst of the hot July sun.
~ Meeting the delightful and gracious family that owns and runs the farm.
~ After a long days work, taking a nap in one of the old barns, straw hat still atop my head (I'm not kidding), grateful for the shade and the soft breeze.

Yes, it was quite an enjoyable time. I certainly would like to go back again to get a little whiff of the country air, to see God's creation unfolding, like bean plants or zucchini blossoms, or little lady bugs on a leaf.

The meeting place of loneliness

Every season of life has its own particular crosses, each with their own weight, challenges, and suffering. The season in my life right now seems to be the season of loneliness. Its a phenomenon that I am sure many single young adults universally share. Without a spouse and children with whom to share the joys, trials, and adventures of life, it's easy to feel like an aimless drifter without a compass. As human persons we were made to give our lives as gifts for one another; the ultimate expression of this is through the Sacrament of Marriage and within the life of the family. As we were made to experience these bonds of love with one another, whether it be literally, through marriage and family life, or symbolically, through the vocations to the priesthood and religious life, it is understandable that in the absence of such a relationship, we experience a deep void and loneliness. To many of us singles who are trying to make our way in the world, discern God's will for our lives, and wait upon His perfect plan, this state of life can be a source of painful emptiness and confusion.

How do I find meaning and purpose in my life, in the here and now, as I live my life as a single Catholic? I do not have the vocation of serving a spouse and children, so how do I find fulfillment in my desire to live a life of self-gift and love?

These are questions that I ask myself each day. For as many of the beautiful opportunities of independence and flexibility that the single state of life offers, this very plethora of vaugue options can be bewildering in itself. Where do I find my purpose, where do I find my center?

And in my aching loneliness, my moments of discouragement and confusion, I have been coming back to that one brilliant truth. He is my rock. My home is His heart.

For those of us who are still wandering in the valley of singleness, it seems as though He is carving out our hearts in a special way; preparing new wineskins, so that His love might fill up our cups in abundance. It is as though He has taken us all to this special place, so that we have no choice but to say, "His grace is sufficient for me." It is loneliness which takes us to this place; this place where in His mysterious tenderness He beckons us to see His own wounds of loneliness and suffering, so that we might be more deeply fused into the fire of His love.

I suppose that on our best days, one might almost call it a privledge. He strips us of this human comfort and companionship that we so ardently desire, so that we have more space for Him to fill us, mold us, and strengthen us.

In contemplating the cross of loneliness in my life, I came upon this article written by Adam Cardinal Maida, an address to single Catholics. I found his words very encouraging and thought -provoking, particularly this paragraph:

"When we think about single life, it is helpful to remember that ultimately, every person — married or not — is alone in this world. Our heart and our soul have a certain quality of emptiness or incompleteness that no one can ever completely fill, for our true home is not here. We are pilgrims on a journey to another world. As Jesus taught, those in the single state remind us that, in the life to come, all our relationships will take on a new meaning and perspective; they will pale by comparison to the all-encompassing power of God’s unconditional love."

And so in this moment in time, (though we all hope it is simply a season of our life), these feelings of emptiness and incompleteness are very real. And this cross brings us to our knees, day in and day out. May we find comfort knowing that He is there waiting to meet us in our loneliness, waiting to fill our hearts with His presence. He is the Lover of our souls; may we seize these moments to let Him love us undistractedly.

Summertime joys

With the temperatures soaring well into the 100s, it's clear that summer is definitely here to stay. I feel like this year I have been able to especially enjoy the spirit of summertime, since for the first time in 6 years I haven't either been waitressing crazy night shifts or, like the previous two summers, studying or attending evening classes. Instead, I go to work, have free time in the evenings and have my weekend days off. With warm weather and daylight that stretches long into the evenings, it's been great to spend more time outside going on evening walks, getting some delicious frozen yogurt while strolling the city streets as the sun goes down, or playing frisbee with friends.

Since it's the first summer in a long while that I have been able to catch my breath so to speak, I find myself recalling more childhood summertime memories - probably because now it's a little easier for me to think of summer as a time for relaxation, rejuvenation and adventure. The way that summers used to be! I fondly recall childhood summers spent reading book after book, swimming in the neighborhood pool, catching lightening bugs after dark, having American Girl doll club meetings with my friends, sitting on the porch with my family on summer nights eating ice cream and sharing good conversation, going on trips to the beach with my family, going to summer camp and enjoying time spent in nature. The list could go on and on. Especially as a child, summer was such a beautiful, carefree time brimming with the promise of time off from school, and time spent having fun.

I feel like I have been blessed experience a little bit more of this summertime spirit this year. Although I don't have the means or vacation time to travel anywhere extravagant this summer, I enjoy even simply daydreaming of future trips or modest getaway ideas. Most of all I just appreciate being more free to enjoy the simple pleasures of the season, from fresh cherries, to early morning sunrises, to afternoons on the beach. And on that note, I am off now to curl up with a good book...because quite honestly, one of the best parts of summer for me is the chance to explore, read, and enjoy new books. Right now I am reading a Christian Historical fiction series by Francine Rivers, "Mark of the Lion" that is excellent. But I have many more books to get to, so off I go!